December 24, 2017 8:51 AM
‘Twas the night before Crypto and all through the DAOs
Not a token was trading, no software espoused.
The contracts were checked with an auditor’s care
To keep all the currency safe inside there.
The altcoins on Binance all grasped at the threads
For profits that dangled just over their heads.
And bitcoin continues to get a bad rap
Since old Jamie Dimon is still talking crap.
When onchain solutions arise from the clatter,
Detracting opinions might not seem to matter.
And transaction throughput, done in a flash,
Makes blockchain technology tougher to bash.
The moon where investors want tokens to go
Makes the daily exchange price become quite a show.
If it goes up too fast, we’ve got nothing to fear.
If it goes down too quick, drown our sorrows in beer!
If a little coin jumps up lively and quick,
We all wonder if this newcomer will stick
Or whether, like others before it who came,
It will fly to the sun just to fall back in shame.
“Now Ether! Now Bitcoin! Now Litecoin and Ripple!
“I hope with these cryptos my assets will triple!
On top of the charts, overcoming the wall,
We all hope the marketplace never will fall.
From legions of bureaucrats crypto-regs pry
The guidance that often leads us awry;
So, it’s up to the people to see what they do,
As the SEC acts like it already knew.
While the court case with Coinbase might give us some proof
That the IRS ain’t so crypto aloof,
We can all rest assured that the ship ran aground
When the judgment reduced all the records they found.
Our faith in a man named Vitalik, we’ve put.
Consensus among us is that he’s astute.
With a bundle of protocols that he can stack
Remembering Byzantine forks at our back.
While transaction throughput seems a bit hairy
Plasma and sharding make all that less scary.
A network won’t work if it’s running too slow
And no one will use it if the fees aren’t low.
The prices may rise and they may fall beneath,
But whatever the price, just hodl on to your ETH!
Don’t fall for some pump and dump Machiavelli
Who tries to assault you on #slack in a deli.
Take my advice, put those coins on the shelf
In a cold storage wallet, secure it yourself
And someday you’ll see quite a profit instead
Of losing yourself where the day traders tread.
This holiday, put your money to work
On a crypto exchange, don’t buy stocks like a jerk.
Or maybe you still find yourself among those
Who stand on the sidelines and think, “Well, who knows?”
While the prices continue to soar like a missile
We all hope it doesn’t become quite abyssal.
Whatever you’re backing, hope it flies out of sight.
Decentralize all and to ALL A GOOD NIGHT!
Jeremy Nation is a writer living in Los Angeles with interests in technology, human rights, and cuisine. He is a full time staff writer for ETHNews and holds value in Ether.
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